The Forty Rules of Love - Eli Shafik

Fiction

Verdict: Maybe

Hello Interwebs. I know, I know, I'm hopelessly nerdy and cringy and out of touch....but it gives me a lot of joy. I've been off to other adventures than writing lately and it seems I'm a bit behind if we're going to judge by my 2 large stacks of books + Digital Books to review. My (suspected) ADHD brain would rather build a business and garden these days. I'm gonna start collecting blogs again and write about those too, just not right now, I need to finish this work first.

Ahem. On to the book. So I was binging Pinterest for new reads (the bookstore is expensive yo!) and I kept coming across Elif Shafak as a must read author. Ok cool. I'm up for trying just about anything. 

I'm not much for gimmicky writing, but this one slowly reeled me in. The novel is about a marriage that is falling apart. It's been a comfortable one (read, they thought they were happy), but they have reached midlife and are drifting slowly and inevitably apart. A parallel story runs about Rumi and his soul mate, Shams of Tabriz. Shafik examines relationships from a very multi-dimensional approach. But the theme continues to come back to love.

From a personal point of view (having had a marriage fall apart) it was a painful read. It was also difficult to watch Rumi and Shams have a relationship that was encompassing for both of them and exclusionary to everyone else. I have had some unfortunate experiences in that way too. But the way Shafik explored love was beautiful. There was no condemnation nor trying to shuffle things into the conventional way that everyone accepts and is comfortable with. He also made a point of relationships sometimes having a timeline - even when we want them to last forever they may not and it's painful. 

I think this book is worth it in spite of the kitch, but it requires some life experience and reflection. I personally find those some of the best. It's not a complicated story, but it's a complicated theme.

Verdict: Read it!

~Becky~

Dump Em: How to Break Up with a: - Jodyne Speyer

Non Fiction

Verdict: Meh

I'm currently at home. My time is largely unused - except for working at night - and I've had a tremendous amount of time to read. With the excellent libraries in the US, I've been taking advantage.

I've been re-aquainting myself with the libraries here and non-Indian authors. It's been rough. In a recent wandering, I picked this up in the humor section because that was all that would catch my attention that day - humor. 

I'm not looking for, nor do I need help with, breaking relationships, but I picked it up just for novelty sake and a curiosity on how the author veiwed break up conversations. There were no romantic breakups, just other types of relationships - clients, friends, hairstylists, ect. I didn't come across anything earth shattering in here, but I guess if you have trouble with this kind of thing it may be useful. It was entertaining along the way, but definitely not worth more than the hour I spent reading it. 

~Becky~ 

Kali's Daughter - Raghav Chandra

Fiction

Read It!

This is the first novel I've seen from Raghav Chandra. I'm still on the fence on if I would like to see another one from him. 

The novel opens on an obviously sucessful woman looking back at an old photograph. She somehow cracked the Civil service exam in highschool and was accepted in to the Indian Foreign Service. The photo is from a training camp that all sucessful Civil Service candidates attend. 

We go back in time to learn about a deep dive into the main character's caste and background, including changing of name to avoid caste and certain caste assumptions. This was interesting to me because I never understood why people didn't try this more often - changing their name. I won't go into the details, but the author clearly outlines why it isn't all that effective. Most of the novel is her time at the training camp and the politics and relationship dynamics that result in a study of caste. The main character has earned her way in, not utilizing quotas for backward castes, and finds that her hard work and brilliance do not erase other's perceptions. 

As someone who has never had the experience of having a caste and has stayed away from the discussion altogether being married to an Indian, it was an uncomfortable book to read. It's very difficult to prevent ones self from making trite and unnecessary mental comments on something I know nothing about. Coming from a society that doesn't practice caste, the concept of one not having the same inherent value as another is difficult for me to understand and accept. In the end, the main character is wildly sucessful, well traveled, and comfortable financially. It doesn't go much into the outcome for her or her family, but very much delves into the idea of quota, names, caste, adn people's assumptions upon hearing names. I'm sure it would hit differently if an Indian were reading it, and different yet if it were an Indian who has faced similar struggles. Always good to expose yourself to experiences different from the ones you're comfortable with.

~Becky~ 

The Alchemy of Desire: Tarun Tejpal

Fiction

Verdict: Read it!

I enjoy Tarun Tejpal as an author. For whatever has happened in his personal life (and I won't comment on this) I enjoy him immensely as a writer. The combination of his skill weaving a story and his very unique plot lines make him a very interesting proposition every single book. The Alchemy of Desire was no different.  It actually took me a very long time to sit down and write this after I finished reading it because I needed a very long time to digest what had happened in the novel. 

The story line revolves around a couple who had a very passionate physical relationship that lasted for years and years. Then one day they hit a bump in the road and lost all desire for each other. The story mixes together the slow unravelling of their relationship (which you come to suspect was only about physical passion) with memories that the protagonist painfully indulges in on a regular basis. The story ends after she leaves and he is left to putter about in a house they built together with only his memories. It's a fantastically painful exercise to read. But I do think that was the point. For whatever reason when a couple finds themselves at a point of no return/repair, the ending will be painful. There will be maudlin reminiscing, there will be a painful actual separation point, and there will be shared dreams and goals that will wither away and only be reminders going forward of what was lost.

The difficult part of this novel is that most people in attached relationships secretly harbor at least a little fear of their partner/spouse becoming bored of them on some capacity. Of losing desire or simply finding themselves moving different directions in life. Tejpal does an excellent job of setting the stage in the beginning of the book on just how active and important their physcial connection together was that it's like watching a slow motion train wreck coming. You want to look away but you just cant because you want to witness the entire sequence.  After going through a divorce after a long term marriage, I could identify with many of the feelings and physical events that happened in the book, even if not exact replicas. I guess that made it even harder to read. Thinking about it in the context of my current relationship made it terrifying and suffocating all in one. 

It's a power house of a book, but not in the usual sense. It will leave you thoughtful and possibly depressed for a while. But going through the experience of reading it will be worth your time, that's guaranteed. 

Read it!

~Becky~ 

The Swap - Shuma Raha

Fiction

Verdict: Uncertain

I came across this novel in my favorite book store, as has happened with so many before. It looked vaguely interesting so I thought to give it a try. Afterall, spouse swapping isn't a common (talked about in public) topic, and I was curious how the author would approach it. India has a strange way of hiding or appearing to hide many topics and then flagrantly parading them out in public as if it's normal in the name of modernity. It's a little dissonant sometimes.

Anyhow. The book opens to a well off couple (obviously) who have a friend who knows someone who throws spouse swapping parties. The wife is already having an affair with another friend. She has a lot of guilt and has hidden it well. The couple is talked into participating in a party and follows the normal trajectory of many people who choose to have open relationships - it's not easy. The husband ends up falling in love with the wife's lover's wife and they have an arrangement like that for a long time until finally it feels too weird for the wife and she calls a halt to it. It makes one wonder what was her motivation for that affair in the first place. There's a lot of blame and bitterness throughout the book about expecations and fidelity, and in the end, the couple ends up working it out, to my surprise.  There was also a weird side not about a street boy who was helped by the wife. 

To say it was a whirwind book with some unexpected attitudes is a little underrated. The author made swapping seem....so....normal. Open relationships - normal. I also felt that she could have gotten much further into the relationship between the main husband and wife. They were almost like cookie cutter stereotypes. I get that it's easy for multiple audiences to identify with such characters, but when you're dealing with the essence of marriage and an intimate relationship, such characters fall flat. 

I still think this book is worth reading because it challenges an Indian audience with sexuality, marriage expectations, and intimacy. As I mentioned previously, highly charged subjects that aren't always approached openly. An honest look at the fallout of such choices also helps people to be informed and not romanticize them - Always a good idea.

Read it!

~Becky~

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - Gail Honeyman

Fiction

-Meh-

I kept coming across this book on Pinterest as recommended, so when I found it in the bookstore (used and cheap!) I was rather excited. 

The novel introduces us to Eleanor Oliphant (surprise surprise) and quickly establishes that she's a quirky, weird, middle aged lady.  It's quite tropey. We follow her through her life as she faces disappointments, her past, and forming positive relationships.

This book definitely doesn't shy away from mental health issues. Eleanor has been abused and neglected and has walls a mile thick. She drinks too much, doesn't have a social life to speak of, and misses social cues. She makes an unlikely friend, Raymond, with an equally different co-worker. We're never quite sure if they have a mild romantic interest in each other or if they're just so thrilled to have found a support and a friend that it gets confusing. 

What I liked most about the novel is that Eleanor is relateable for me. While my circumstances may not be exactly the same as hers, I can understand her reactions to many things, and her hesitation to see the value in herself or trusting other people. I also know how much it can help to have a "Raymond", either as a romantic partner or just as an amazing friend. 

Unfortunately, the book was overall disappointing for me. There were so many issues for Eleanor I felt like the author went through and played Psychology Dilbert bingo and didn't fully address any of them. There was so much more that could have been done with this story. I'm not critisicing because neat endings are rare, but this ending just kind of happened. There was no resolution to anything, besides a very anticlimactic "I won't talk to my mom anymore because she's an abusive asshole" moment. The rest we wonder if Eleanor will sort out or not, especially the suicide episode she went through. The reader is left feeling that as long as Eleanor continues to put one foot in front of the other and continue trying, she'll be fine. This is charming, and often times the case in real life, but I needed a little more hope than that for a charachter I was rooting for and related to. 

Not a bad book, but keep your expectations reasonable.

~Becky~

So All is Peace - Vandhana Singh-Lal

Fiction

Read it!

This would be the first book I have read from Vandana Singh-Lal. Contrary to popular form, I didn't pick this up on recommendation or because of the cover, although I do like the cover. I went to Writer's Cafe (Kalyan Nagar, Bangalore) with my kids just to explore. They also sell books, so I thought I will support small business. Their books, though used, are definitely not cheap. But all for a good cause, right?

Anyhow, the novel opens with twins going to Paris with their father. There are the usual twin tropes, though very mild at this stage in the book. As we move into the next chapter, we find the twins in isolation in their house, having literally almost starved themselves to death. They are discovered by a little boy who has inadvertently set some trash on fire with Diwali fireworks and goes to the door to warn them. What follows is a mix of police, press, and backstory into how our protagonistas reached this point, though only one of them is the narrator.

The book is a very beautifully spun narrative. I did not find myself bored, though the plot lagged at places. There was just enough forshadowing used that it wasn't ridiculous nor absent and the reader discovers (I felt) just what the author intended at exactly the moment she intended. This is not an easy task and it's done very well. The authoress touches on many social issues and comparisons in society. The twins have lost their family and while dramatically different from each other, are very closely connected and only have each other for most of the novel. The author also goes into how sensationalist the media can be and how people change once something goes public. In this case, it's the apartment society's attitude towards the twins. It's disgusting sentiment, but anyone reading the book who is Indian or has any idea about India can relate. I won't give away the twist at the end of the book, but it's brilliant. I definitely did not see it coming. 

The book does overdo the twin angle in the end. I also was left at the end of the book wondering what exactly the whole point of the starvation was. The author does briefly explain it, but I wasn't satisfied. Perhaps that was the point, there was no point to the starvation - it was just a thought exercise that went way out of control. As I mentioned, some of the book is a little slow, but if you slow down yourself to contemplate the issue the author is commenting on, it makes sense to think through a little slower. I would have also liked to have seen a little more character development of both the twins. The reporter is obsessed with at least one of them, but I can't figure out why. A big ado is made about how they are alike and different, but aside from vague references to who is smarter and who is born first, not much is done here. Again, perhaps intentional. 

Overall, an excellent read and one that kept me engaged.

Read it!

~Becky~

These Our Bodies, Possessed by Light - Dharini Bhaskar

Fiction

Verdict: Read it

This was also the first book I've ready by Dharini Bhaskar. It's also another oohhh pretty cover type books. I didn't really have any expectations when I picked it up. 

Dharini Bhaskar takes us through a family saga, juxtaposing relationships, marriage, and failed marriages between Deeya, the main character, her mother, and her grandmother. The patterns that repeat are visible and beg a question I often ask myself - are relationships hereditary because of the baggage we carry. While I still haven't reached a solid answer myself, it's always fun to find novels that pose the same question because I always have something else to think about. There's poetry woven in throughout the chapters which I enjoyed. 

There's not really a huge plot arc in this book. It's more of a journey through life and how relationships continue to affect people long after the events happen. With that, it is slow going sometimes, but if you stop to consider what the author is trying to get you to think about, it's actually quite interesting if you're interested in this type of thing.

Read it.

~Becky~

The Ground Beneath Her Feet - Salman Rushdie

Fiction

Verdict: Read it

Yes, yes, I have a thing for Salman Rushdie. Or rather Salman Rushdie's books. He seems like rather a prick but I forgive him on account of genius. 

This was a novel that I got from the library, didn't get around to reading, and had to regretfully return. Fortunately on my last trip to the bookstore, I found a copy. Now when Salman Rushdie gets to writing, the man gets to writing. This isn't a short novel, and I'll admit, it drags a bit as Rushdie weaves his magic and gets around slowly to his point.

The novel is about a love triangle between the narrator and two famous singers, who he happens to have grown up. Rushdie takes his time going into the backgrounds of the characters and families. Vina Aspara, the central focus of the novel, and she's got a complicated background. The story slowly wanders through their growing up, becoming famous, and ending in tragic and mysterious circumstances.

Underneath it all, it's a love story, even though it's a super unconventional one. Vina also is a hell of a heroine, though she's also a super unconventional one. The story does wander off into weird territory at the end.  As with all Rushdie works, there are things going on underneath what he's saying. In this instance, I can't figure out what he is saying in this one, but that's not surprising.

What I can say is that Rushdie's interpretation of a love story and a heroine make it worth reading.  Plus, it's Salman Rushdie. It's worth reading.

Read it!

~Becky~

Delhi Noir - Omair Ahmad et Al

Fiction

Short Stories

As I mentioned, I have been very into short stories as of late. I have to be honest, the introduction to this collection sold me before I even started on the stories. The stories did not disappoint either. 

These stories feature the grittiness of life in Delhi. After visiting a few times, Delhi is not a place I'd ever want to visit again, for many of the reasons that come to the forefront of these stories. They are not happy ones, nor ones that give you any hope for humanity. Yet people move along with their lives because that's just how Delhi is. 

The authors and stories chosen gel very well together and do an excellent job of portraying the city in a realistic way that is often missing from the sanitized, glamorous life that the rich and famous live. 

French Lover - Taslima Nasrin

Fiction
Verdict: Interesting, yet depressing

I can't quite remember why I picked this book to read - I believe it was recommended to me.  

The protagonist is an Indian woman with a past who has accepted an arranged marriage to escape from the rumors and problems at home. He lives very comfortably in France and she moves to be with him. She does not know him well, and they really are ill-suited for each other. After a spate of uncomfortable confrontations and traditional minded unmatched expectations from him, she leaves and moves in with a co-worker.  

She wanders through life and job, re-finding herself and generally being content. Then she meets the french lover. Life is good and interesting. They have their ups and downs, but are generally happy. As the story progresses, we see our heroine slowly losing herself once again and being sucked into mind fuck games - such as constant comparisons with a wife she knew nothing about.

In the end he ends up hating her and cursing her, because he feels like he has her. There is no longer a challenge.

Nasrin's protagonist was portrayed brilliantly. She is both courageous and flawed, brave and naive. The husband and the lover were also portrayed in an all too read sense. This book was incredibly hard for me to read as a result. After my relationship history, I think that Nasrin probably had similar encounters with men in her life - the descriptions just ring too true and too vivid. 

It also opened up insecurities in me that I wasn't aware I still harbored. Will he end up hating me? Does he just like me because I'm exotic? I've tried not to linger on these thoughts, but as with anyone who finds themselves married to a stranger, time doesn't give a sense of security all the time. 

Read it if you want your relationship naivety cherry popped, but it's a difficult one.

Becky

The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera

Fiction
Verdict: Meh

When I moved out of American Fiction and expanded to Indian authors, the differences in outlook knocked me sideways. For some reason, it never occured to me that European authors would have their own flavor. This book is just one example I've had of that. I can't even decide if I liked it or not - which is quite the statement for me. While we can't pigeon hole groups of people, mindset affects storytelling and different places have different mindsets.

Kundera's novel traces through the life of two couples and the ebb and flow of those relationships. While it's interesting from the viewpoint that relationships are seen in a very different light, the casual nature of the relationships is hard to digest. The idea that connections last but relationships don't always. The over defined sense of self and ease of letting go when the situation changes.

It was certainly educational, if an uncomfortable read for me. There were no major shocks in the plot line, but the subtle tension of will something happen or not was definitely there.

Read it. If nothing else, you'll ponder your own relationships for a while.

Becky

Tell me a Story - Rupa Bajwa

Fiction
Verdict: Read it

It's no surprise. I have a firmly established fetish for stories about average people that explain big things about culture. This book fits that mold perfectly and I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Rupa winds a story around a lower middle class family living in Amritsar and how their fortunes and family come and go. There's no fireworks, or dramatic story twists, heros, or villians. It's just a girl that works in a parlor living with her aging father, brother, and his wife and son. They have money problems and things aren't always good.

The reason why this format appeals to me so much is that the characters feel real to me. It's like peaking in a window and observing lives without being a peeping Tom. Since this type of thing fascinates me endlessly, I very much enjoyed this book.

If it fascinates you, or you're looking for additional cultural knowledge on lower middle income Indian families, then by all means read it. If you're already familiar with this, it will probably come off a wee bit dull. My vote is read it.

An Equal Music - Vikram Seth

Fiction
Verdict: Read It

I'll be honest. After reading the behemoth that was "A Suitable Boy", I was wary of reading any more from Vikram Seth. It was an excellent read, but holy hotcakes was it long.

I was not disappointed with An Equal Music either. If Seth knows how to do one thing well, it's weave a long and complex story, and he's done it here. Focusing on the affair between professional musicians in Europe, it has a different flavor than normal Indian novels. It still has the ever present melancholy and fatalism that marks so many Indian authors.

It's not a happy ending, and watching the affair dwindle off to nothing is almost as excruciating as watching the main character's love interest lose her hearing, which is devastating for a musician.

I found myself wondering just what the point of the main character's life was, until it resembled my own, which was of course infinitely depressing.

It's not short, or easy, but read it anyhow. Vikram Seth's stories really are well spun.

Becky

Indian Love Stories - Sudhir Kakar

Non-Fiction
Verdict: Read it

Another anthology about love stories, another book that was vastly different from what I expected.

Love in all it's manifestations, it's not always about roses and smiles, and warm fuzzies. Sometimes it's hard, or gross, or not what was expected. Another glimpse into a culture's version of love.

Not long or difficult. Take the time and read it.

Becky

Adultery - Farrukh Dandey

Non-Fiction
Verdict: Read it

Another book that turned out to be vastly different than I had expected. This is very surprisingly not about smut, or adultery, although there is a fair bit of that. What this book is about is relationships.

A collection of short stories, most of them do not turn out quite as you would have expected. I found this a bit disappointing, but it made reading it much more interesting.

Not a long or difficult read - take the time.

Becky