The Difficulty of Being Good - Gurcharan Das

NonFiction

Read it

Gurcharan Das was an author that was mentioned in a book I read recently on Punjab. Since I like following rabbit holes and building context, I thought I would try him out when I saw this book. Das takes us through the concept of being "Good"  and fulfilling one's Dharma and contrasts that with the definitions of "Good" and "Dharma" in the Mahabarata.

If you've ever read the Mahabarata, you know that both Good and Dharma are relative terms. It's all subjective and arguments can be made for any direction. It's maddeningly twisted. Trying to apply the Mahabarata to real life is a similar exercise. If you cannot define in exact paramaters what "Good" and "Dharma" are, then comparing or applying them to real life is a mind melting exercise. 

I would call this more of an analysis of "Good" and "Dharma" are in the Mahabarata. And Das explores every small twisted alley in depth. Even he still accepts the nonsolidity of the concepts by the end of the book. It's a good book to read if you want to dive into ethics and Indian literature and societal ethos. The minute you try to apply concrete values to any of it, you will feel like bashing your head on the concrete. 

While it was a bit long and drawn out, I'm not sorry I read it. Even if I was ready to be done with the relativism 3/4 through the book. 

Read it.

~Becky~

Goat Days - Benyamin

Fiction

Read it

This was a recommendation from I can't remember where. Well well worth the money and read. 

Goat Days follows a Muslim Keralite, Najeeb, in his journey to the middle east to raise money for his family and the chaos that ensued from there. He finds himself without contacts when he lands and is picked up by an "Arbab" or boss, who wasn't actually supposed to pick him up, but takes advantage of ignorance. Najeeb finds himself in the midst of a desert on a goat farm. His life is quickly subsumed into taking care of goats. Feeding, watering, herding, etc. His horror at the hygiene of his fellow worker and the Arbab fade as he too becomes one with the goats. He eventually attempts and escape and almost dies as they trek through the desert. Najeeb submits himself to the police and spends some time in jail. His Arbab does come to claim him one day, but is not able to as he doesn't have proper papers and Najeeb is sent back home.

This book was a very interesting book (said to be based on a true story) on the plight of some Malayalis who travel to the middle east to work and earn money for families back home. As with any other vulnerable population, there are plenty who are subjected to exploitation of every sort. It's painful to watch Najeeb struggle because he comes across as so child like. His innocence is never completely dissolved and he never really grasps how he came to be in the situation he found himself it. Rasising money to support a wife and child he hasn't met cause him to go into debt just to get to the middle east. Of course the channels he goes through are slightly suspect so there's a trust about what will be waiting for him on the other end. 

Beyond Malayalis who go to the middle east for work, it makes you considere the difficulties of other economically vulnerable populations who are just trying to make it but get exploited at every turn. As in Goat Days, some never make it back and die in places they will never be found.

Read it.

~Becky~

The Female Gaze - Dr. Shoma A Chatterji

Nonfiction

Read it

As I've mentioned with previous reviews, India has it's own brand of feminism. It ranges from apologist to ineffective firebrand to practical suggestions. Unfotunately, India is still a land where feminism is pared down to a need for security and personal agency. Equality is still a far flung dream for many Indian women. 

This collection of essays has highlighted areas in both home and the outside world where women struggle on many fronts. The essays aren't really a call to action, but they do point out the unvarnished truth of how many women live. It's a tragically frustrating subject to read about, and then undertand how many lives are affected negatively because of tradition and a stranglehold patriarchal society.

To be blunt, essays aren't going to change India. It's a behemouth of a country with issues as long as the day. Undoing the structures that resulted in the current day situation is a concept that I struggle to understand the feasibility of.  But I do believe that continuing to talk about it and make women aware that they are being repressed and that they deserve safety and personal agency is absolutely the only way to keep moving forward. Unfortunately, feminism beyond information is still too scattered in India to be effective.

There's nothing earth shattering in these essays. If you read on this topic and India then nothing said here will surprise you. It will depress you but read it anyways. Look at the ways in your own life (if you are a woman) that you have accepted some of the behaviors that repress you. If you are a man, question some of the assumptions that you've been raised with about your gender role and the role of women in society.

Read it.

~Becky~

The Tibetan Book of Death - W.Y. Egans - Wentz

Non-Fiction

Read it

I find learning about culture exhilerating, especially those that seem super exotic from my own. I've been meaning to read this for quite some time. I knew the title wouldn't exactly be similar to what's in the book, but a book about Book of the Dead is pretty interesting to contemplate. I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't what it was. That being said, it was a fascinating and well worth the time read.

When I first started it, the initial chapter/introduction are intimidating. Like Advanced Level college intimidating. I wasn't sure I would be able to get through it. I decided to stick it out and I'm glad I did. The book walks through a ritual that Tibetans follow upon and after death. What cultures think happens after death is usually interesting, this was no exception. It was compiled with the help of Tibetans for translation.

Tibetan Buddhism is a pretty esoteric religion. I've been through the college level intro into what is Buddhism, but like anything else, the more you dig the more you find. The author and translator have helpfully added many many footnotes that I relied upon to help my understanding. The idea of  "Bardo" or the plane one finds oneself after death was especially interesting to contemplate, as were the different things that can happen according to Buddhism and how strong the person's belief was. 

I'll definitely say this was not something everyone might enjoy reading. But if you would like to Geek out and understand what Tibetan Buddhists think of what happens after death, this will definitely be a good one for you.

Read it.

~Becky~

The Death of Mr. Love : Indra Sinha

Fiction

Read it

This was another book that landed high on quite a few read lists, so I decided to give it a try. The book is written in a parallel to the famous Nanavati case in Bombay. It starts out with an idylic childhood in the hills outside of Pune. The story follows the main character, his relationship with the main female character (It's a very strange one indeed) and ties into the Nanvati case at the end.

I wouldn't call it a suspense, because the tension builds very very slowly, but that's what it is. The author has done a very masterful job of storytelling and winding many different threads into a different version of a well known tale. The writing is a bit eccentric, but well done. 

The book does drag in a few places, and it's a long one, but it's worth the effort. 

Read it!

~Becky~

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari - Robin Sharma

Non-Fiction

Read if you Like Self Help

I'm not a big fan of self help books. Some of course can be helpful, but overall, I find them a waste of time. This book came to me as a gift from some colleagues for my birthday. The gesture was very touching as I didn't know them that well and it was kind of them to think of me.

Robin Sharma goes about telling a story about how a sucessful lawyer learns how to slow down and enjoy his life. He uses the format of story telling with someone else as the main character to impart ideas. Not a new idea, but ok if done right. I personally didn't care for the tone of the book. I felt led on to ideas that could have just been simply laid out. The advice was also just vague enough to make me wonder why there needed to be a book about this. That's about all I have to say about this book. If you like self help books this is one that's high on everyone's reading list so maybe it'll be right for you. I didn't care for it.

~Becky~

Caste Matters - Suraj Yengde

NonFiction

Meh

Caste isn't something that I can ever access aside from second hand knowlege. However, I still think it's important to educate ones self about, and this book seemed to fit the bill to build my knowlege further. Both the term and concept of "Dalit" was explored.

As I've mentioned previously, when an author is close to a subject and has an emotional tie to it, writing objectively becomes incredibly difficult. This book was a prime example of this theory. A self identified Dalit, the author definitely has strong feelings, and understandably so. The subject of reservation and special privilege/lack of it is a time worn argument in India. Some scream that "low caste" people have too many support systems, others agitate beause they have too few.

I was shocked (although I'm not sure quite why) to find out that becoming very sucessful in life is looked own upon, even though it may elevate someone to a more comfortable lifestyle. I have seen this in different societies where less fortunate people resent those who have somehow removed themselves from a difficult situation. This was also surprising for me because coming from the US, the prejudice was more economically based, rather socially. Even if you come from the poorest background, once you have money no one cares. Caste is very much more complicated than that. 

I could not figure out how and where Brahminism fit in with castism, aside from propigating the discrimination, but perhaps that's simply my ignorance. It was an interesting read, but overall I felt quite biased. Disappointing but not surprising. This book is worth a read because the only qualified people to talk about something like castism are those who have experienced it, especially not on the dominant side of the spectrum. 

Read It.

~Becky~

The Valley of Masks - Tarun Tejpal

Fiction

Read it!

I enjoyed The Story of My Assassins very much, so when I found another novel by Tarun Tejpal, I thought I should give it a try. I was not disappointed. One of the beautiful things that Tejpal is able to do is spin fantasies. He does it so beautifully that you don't even consider the improbability of what he's saying after a while. It's fantastic.

The Valley of Masks is about a breakaway religious cult who value equality above all. They all look the same, they all have a function. The further you get into this novel, the more social commentaries you see. Religious fervousness, community identiy, us versus them, personal identity, what society holds as ideals, Tarjun Tejpal marches out one by one in a subtle but unignorable way. 

I personally would call this not a horror novel....but something similar. By the end of the book, what was meant to be noble and good has morphed into something  absolutely horrific, that if the narrator is correct, will result in his death rather than a separation from.  The first person narration/memories only enhance the horror because you know that the narrator knows what's coming. What makes it even more disturbing to me is that I know people who hold the same ideals, albeit not to that degree, about relationships and the ideal of identity/ability equating to value. 

I won't narrate the whole story line because that would rob you of the beauty of unwinding the story that Tejpal has so artfully spun, line by line. Definitely worth the read.

~Becky~

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine - Gail Honeyman

Fiction

-Meh-

I kept coming across this book on Pinterest as recommended, so when I found it in the bookstore (used and cheap!) I was rather excited. 

The novel introduces us to Eleanor Oliphant (surprise surprise) and quickly establishes that she's a quirky, weird, middle aged lady.  It's quite tropey. We follow her through her life as she faces disappointments, her past, and forming positive relationships.

This book definitely doesn't shy away from mental health issues. Eleanor has been abused and neglected and has walls a mile thick. She drinks too much, doesn't have a social life to speak of, and misses social cues. She makes an unlikely friend, Raymond, with an equally different co-worker. We're never quite sure if they have a mild romantic interest in each other or if they're just so thrilled to have found a support and a friend that it gets confusing. 

What I liked most about the novel is that Eleanor is relateable for me. While my circumstances may not be exactly the same as hers, I can understand her reactions to many things, and her hesitation to see the value in herself or trusting other people. I also know how much it can help to have a "Raymond", either as a romantic partner or just as an amazing friend. 

Unfortunately, the book was overall disappointing for me. There were so many issues for Eleanor I felt like the author went through and played Psychology Dilbert bingo and didn't fully address any of them. There was so much more that could have been done with this story. I'm not critisicing because neat endings are rare, but this ending just kind of happened. There was no resolution to anything, besides a very anticlimactic "I won't talk to my mom anymore because she's an abusive asshole" moment. The rest we wonder if Eleanor will sort out or not, especially the suicide episode she went through. The reader is left feeling that as long as Eleanor continues to put one foot in front of the other and continue trying, she'll be fine. This is charming, and often times the case in real life, but I needed a little more hope than that for a charachter I was rooting for and related to. 

Not a bad book, but keep your expectations reasonable.

~Becky~

Punjab - Amandeep Sandhu

Non-Fiction

Verdict: Read It

I have a rather long-standing fascination with Punjab - many aspects of it. So when I saw this rather large nonfiction book in Book Worm, it very much piqued my interest. I did think twice, becaue as I said, it's not a quick read, but that never bothered me. 

Punjab is written an an almost autobiographical style, with the author obviously a Punjabi or a foreign returned Punjabi - I can't remember at the moment, mixed in with a bit of historical and current events mixed in for education purposes.  One of the things that made this interesting is that there's currently (although it's been going on for quite some time) an issue in Delhi about Farmers. I don't know much about it, so I'm going to refrain from commenting here. Since this book covered agriculture in Punjab, it was easy to tie it to some of the current events happening, which I always appreciate.

You can obviously tell that the author has strong emotional ties to his homeland. He approaches the subjects he raises in a passionate and personal manner. He also is quite comprehensive in his coverage. 

While I did appreciate the comprehensiveness of the book, I found it scattered in many places and needing a bit of organization and flow. The author hopscotches from one topic to another. It's obvious that they're connected, but the lack of a flowing narrative bothered me quite a bit.  I also think that certain subjects that are very near and dear to an author are difficult to write bout well. As a writer, I have found myself struggling to remove emotion and passion and write in an informative or logical way. I hesistate to critisize the author for this, but I think there was room for improvement.

For me, Punjab is a very complicated piece of the Indian puzzle and learning more about it helps me learn about India as a whole. If you have an interest as well, I would suggest that this is not the best place to start. It is, however, a good book to read for someone who already has some context on Punjab and build their understanding. It's definitely not a charicature of Punjab like portrayed in the movies. While that's always fun to observe, it's not real and learning about the real Punjab is much more rich. 

Read it!

~Becky~

The Phoenix Project - Gene Kim, Kevin Behr, and George Spafford

Non Fiction

Read It

This book was recommended to me by my ex husband, who also happens to be my boss, and the founder of the company we both worked for - a tech start up in Bangalore. I was a little unsure if I should read it as he told me that it was an IT book and I'm almost completely non technical. I'm also not a big self help/management lessons book kind of person. If they're good, sure, I'll give it a shot, but not something I look out for. 

The book opens to a company in chaos with many bad habits and indisciplines. The author takes us through his learnings over the course of time as he is shoved into a high pressure position and project with very little support and very high stakes. 

As I work to transition a 100 person company to a 200 person company, there are always lessons to be learned. While I won't spell them all out, this book provided many important lessons that I will definitely remember and am trying to implement before it leads to bigger problems. 

Business lessons are always fascinating to me - I think more so than personal lessons - because businesses are very complex organizations and there are endless factors to whether they suceed or fail. Coming into the opportunity that I did later in life, I'm very invested the the business continuing to thrive and grow, so that I can continue to thrive and grow with it. 

I'd recommend this book to anyone in the IT industry with even the least bit of interest in managment or growing a business. Overall a good read to contemplate and digest in bits as you consider how to implement some of these things in your own business. It's not a quick read, and whether the "lesson teacher" was real or not, he was obnoxious and patrionizing. People should not be shamed due to not knowing something as long as they are willing to learn. 

~Becky~